Fraudulent Emails (most offensive thing I've ever written)

I'm so sick of these. I finally decided to bite back. What you are about to read is the email that was sent to me followed by the response that I sent back. I took it to a new level and I am honestly a bit scared of what the outcome might be. I did it for the fans though! Please read. You'll never think of me the same. I've never written anything this offensive in my life. 

EMAIL RECEIVED:

GOOD DAY.

I don't really know who you are, but peace be unto you as you read this letter. My instinct tells me that I can trust you by my proposition. I got your contact through the Internet directory and my instinct directed me to send this money to you. 

I am a widow and a devoted Christian, my name is Mrs. Linda Lucas from England, married to Christopher Lucas, since my husband died, I have been suffering from arthritics and lately doctors have diagnosed me with terminal cancer which left me with approximately twelve months to live. I am currently on wheelchair and being looked after by as nurse and some of my late husband's relatives in turns. 

Before my husband died, he left me some money to the tone of two-million pounds and he made made me promise him that it should be used for humanitarian work, because we have no children and he does not want his brothers to lay a hand on it, since they don't believe in god, they have a different vision. 

This money is currently in a vault with a deposit company in Europe. If you will promise me that you will use this money to achieve the wish of my husband and me, then I will instruct the deposit company to release the funds in your name. Note that I don't speak much to my illness.  I will appreciate if we communicate through email. Reply me through my email address:

lindalucas22@hotmail.com for us to discuss so that you can go and claim this money before I die. May God bless you as you walk in the light and glory.

Thank You.

Yours,

Mrs. Linda Lucas. 

EMAIL THAT I SENT:

What's up Mrs. Lucas you British cunt. Or should I say Ms. Lucas since you are now single since your husband is dead and rotting right now. I'll be brutally frank. If you are looking for a little 'D' I'll come across the pond and sixty-nine your wheelchair riding ass. Shove my cock in your mouth and we'll take that chair for the ride of your life. The fact that your all sick and shit and can't talk makes me even more attracted to you. Obviously though, with my sack in your mouth you won't be able to speak as is. 

I'm so honored that you got a hold of me. It's amazing to think that in just two weeks I've gotten six of these emails. I was struggling financially but it looks like I'll be worth about 40 million dollars come next week. 

Let me know what I need to do on my end moving forward. If you want any information from me; social security number, bank number, etc. Please let me know. I'd be more than happy to send it to you via email.

You mentioned that you were a devoted Catholic and that's fine. I however practice Satanism. I hope this won't be a problem that I wish your dead husbands soul and eternity in damnation with pitch-forks stabbing his taint. That's what I pray for.

Just last night I was running around my apartment wearing a goat's anus on my head. Nothing to do with Satanism, I was just bored. 

It is my understanding that your cancer-ridden body wants me to do something Humanitarian with the money. Please be more specific. When I think of Humanitarian I think of funding snuff films, and websites on how to become a 'cutter.' 'Cutting' is such a rush. You should try it. You're almost dead anyway.  What have you got to lose. 

Let me know if we are on the same page? Please get back to me before you die you old bag of rickety bones. Send me a picture of your dead husband too. I want to masturbate to it, while chocking myself with a tourniquet, listening to Marylyn Manson. 

Onward and Upward.