Jungle Love

Whenever I start my week off and I go through the paper the first thing that pops into my head is that there's not going to be any news that's going to be newsworthy for this website. By 'newsworthy' I mean something like, 'A man held a woman hostage in Toledo, Ohio for three days, and did nothing but read the Bible to her.' That just happened. 

Luckily though, I believe that we are in a time where America is really struggling and the news some tragic, seems to be getting more bizarre every day. 

It's disturbing but it's great material and I always say better them than me.

Here's the story... Sandra Herold is devastated that her Chimp attacked a friend of hers and was forced to be put to sleep. She treated the chimp like her late-husband . The chimp ate with her, watched TV with her and yes SLEPT WITH HER. I don't know if she squatted on his ape-cock but it wouldn't surprise me.  

Really Sandra? You're surprised that a chimp who is supposed to be living in the jungle acted out of the ordinary? You dumb bitch.  You have a chimp as a pet/husband anything goes. Do you really think a chimp is supposed to have PREDICTABLE behavior? 

I say make her do bachelor parties where she bangs Apes otherwise get rid of her. I'm done with her.