I wrote something a while ago about how much of a pussy I think Orlando Bloom. A couple of weeks ago I found myself standing next to him waiting after a movie. Here's my thought process...
-Holy shit, It's Orlando Bloom.
(I do a double take and he looks at me awkwardly)
-Don't fucking look at me like I'm a weirdo. You're famous. I have a right to size you up.
-I wonder what would happen if I just punched him in the face?
-I have a record but it's nothing bad. At worst I would get an assault charge.
-If I get an assault charge would I go to jail?
-I should probably call my buddy and ask. He's a lawyer.
-It would be so funny if I did this.
-What if there's no one who gets a picture?
-I better get a camera....
Then my girlfriend came out of the bathroom and we left the theater.
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